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self-esteem and building confidence

Hey there! today’s post is something very meaningful and important to me. It’s also about something I have been wanting to do for a long time now, therefor I want to make it right. The truth is, everybody has at least one insecurity, one thing they wish to change about themselves. Whether they are super quiet or the loudest of people, in fact even celebrities have some low self esteem now and then. However as we nearly all know, it can be especially hard for those with mental challenges going on inside their head. Disorders like, depression, bipolar, obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety e.c.t can really bring you down. Those types of illnesses cause you to believe you are unattractive or have a bad personality, they are not true. You are probably thinking of all your flaws as you read this. But our flaws are our perfections and greatest weapons. Because honestly whatever your thinking, your one of the only people who has thought it. I understand its difficult and gaining confidence doesn’t just happen, especially when your in a dark and unconfident state of mind, however it will all be worth it. It is very common when your suffering with an illness like depression to have random boosts of confidence where you want to get help and be healthy, and go outside from inside your bedroom, but every time the confidence just disappears and you give up. Sometimes the boost may last a few minute’s, hours of rarely days. Hopefully this post will give you a boost, because with enough boosts, I think it will defiantly make a change.

The first step is accepting your flaws, but also accepting the fact that there are some selfish people who you can’t change. I know it’s difficult when you already feel unconfident and are then left feeling even worse. Although it will take a while, once you accepted yourself and your flaws, no body can hurt you with them. People can be cruel, unbelievable and sometimes you can’t talk sense in to them. But one day they will realise their evil acts and just because you may not be their to see, it will happen. But can I tell you something? When I see you, anybody for that matter, I don’t see their flaws. I don’t talk to ugly people. Because they don’t exist. If you have a good heart than that’s all that matters but everyone is beautiful. You are stronger than your illness and/or anyone who bully’s you, remember that.

Step two, play encouraging muisic. This may seem strange however it has been known to make you feel more upbeat and powerful. Step three also sound peculiar, but pretend you have confidence, don’t lie but explore. Give yourselve a different name and jazz yourself up for the day, go crazy. Find yourself, not who people want you to be. Step four is to every day when you wake up and before you go to bed, look in the mirror and say 5 things you like about yourself.

So there are my tips for today! hope they helped! Remember to concentrate on having a good heart, you are already beautiful and ignore the bully’s who are brainwashed in their sadness and past. Stay strong! see you soon and bye for now xx

 

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Dreaming…believing and achieving

Mental health can most certainly take away opportunities and steal your daily life right from the palms of your hands. Not only that, but unfortunately it can break friendships and end relationships, or cause your self-esteem to fly so low that your too afraid to make new friends or make a new relationship. Although its so difficult to give advice when you are still learning yourself, I believe just throwing and collecting as much advice and help possible will make a terrific difference to your happiness, coping and self-esteem with patience.

For me the most important and successful piece of advice I have used and learnt…hobbies. Usually with mental illnesses you can feel useless and worthless. like you have no control of the situation whatsoever. However when you find a hobby, a passion you feel you have a purpose. I feel in control and that I am achieving something. For example I love to sing and without boasting I feel rather good at it. I write my own songs and put as much emotion in as possible, in fact in some ways singing is my crying and joy all at once. When I sing, each word is of great importance and feel something more than just emptiness, in fact I feel a thrive, like I am going somewhere.  Because you see some sing for popularity or fame or simply because it’s ‘trendy’, however I sing because it keeps me alive.   There are plenty of hobbies out there and whether you are good at them or not, if they help then I say go for it. Some other hobbies and things to do when your illness is bad include……

-baking

-blogging 🙂

-rapping

-singing

-writing

-collecting

-running

-jogging

-other excersize

-yoger

and more…

I hope my blog is helping some of you out there and I wish you all the best. Hope to  write again soon xxx

 

 

 

Suicide and Self-Harm

Hello whatever wonderful person is reading this and welcome to my fourth post on this blog. Now the subject I am about to address is a touchy one. But it’s also rarely spoken about. I suppose people believe it’s disrespectful to talk about Suicide and Self-harm or maybe even a curse. In my point of view some people treat this theme like monsters in the shadows, whispers in the wind. But we mustn’t be afraid, we must be strong, despite how difficult the subject is. But do we not owe it to the victims to share something of so much importance.

I am a survivor like many people out there. And I know, I know what its like to be there. You ask yourself why is it so easy to jump but so hard to keep fighting. It takes ten times more effort and time to put yourself together than it does to fall apart. I have tried before, I always want to but deep down something is saying no.

Its okay not to be okay, but don’t let this be your final day.  You have so much worth, more than you will ever know. But what will this do, it won’t end your pain, but instead pass it to somebody else. Suicide…wanting to die, does in no way make you weak. You want to go home to the angels, but you shall see them one day. What I always tell myself is to take it one day at a time. To find reasons to keep going and I find writing a list shows that there are so many.

There is a quote, I believe it says ‘ people who have committed suicide aren’t weak, they were just strong for too long’ and another which is from Hebrews 6:19 in the bible. It says something along the lines of   ‘Hope is the Anchor of the soul’. So those out there struggling, wanting to end it all, have hope because it can’t storm forever.

The next and final subject of todays post is Self-Harm. I cut for a long time, I still do on occasions and although it doesn’t take away the pain it is a relieve (I find anyway). Personally, and although I don’t suggest this particular coping method, don’t think its necessarily always a bad thing. If you are careful, clean and always have help near by, I think if it helps you than that’s okay. You mustn’t be ashamed, its normal to do things to cope like that and you are not alone. However you shouldn’t cut near the veins.

You are so brave and strong to all of you out there. I believe in you so much and I know you will get through this one day. You are not worthless as you are worth something to me and lots of others. I hope my posts have been helping, bye for now xx

Labels…first advice

Hello everyone, I do hope you are doing well and welcome to my first piece of advice. Before I begin it would mean trillions if you let me know if you like my advice and blog so far, and if not I am always eager to improve…

When you begin to hear the name of your illness all the time, it can become exhausting, but you also begin to see them as your labels. Perhaps you don’t even realise you are identifying yourself as your disorder. For example… “You are not depression, anxiety, bipolar, nor your personality disorder.” Because you see…you may have any of the above or something other, however that isn’t who you are. I know this because I know that you are something so much more.

I  watched a video a while ago, I believe it was made my an incredible motivational speaker known as ‘Prince EA’. All of his videos fascinate me, but it was one in particular which really made me think deeper. He said to imagine you are the sky. Hundreds of clouds pass through you, sometimes they are dark and other times lighter…but either way you are still the sky, the dark clouds can’t stay forever, but in the meanwhile you must remember that through all your dark clouds you are still the sky and you are still there.

A piece of advice I suggest is to rename your disorder, because lets be honest, we are all tired of feeling like we are being controlled and are tired of hearing it pop up in are daily lives. So starting now I would like you to name your disorder and show it that you are the owner. I call my depression…my dark cloud…and I call my anxiety…my raging tiger. Winston Churchill also used the same technique, for he called his depression…his black dog.

So lets rid off our labels and remember we are worth so much more than are illness. I really hope my advice helped somebody out there and feel free to comment what you named your mental disorder. Can’t wait to have more posts up for you soon. Stay strong xxx

Introduction time…

Hello and welcome to my blog of real smiles. Perhaps nobody is reading this, however if there is the slightest chance somebody out there is, I will do my best to give the most compforting, reasuring and helpful advice in my power. I decided to make this blog for several reasons, one being because I wanted to help others and two because I  have suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time. I wanted to express myself and give others advice and coping stratagies I have learnt over the long period of time I have dealt with such horrible illnesses.

I plan to take this blog and make it my own. I will use my own advice and awnser any questions you may have. I will be posting as much as possible and will do my best to spread positivity.

I would quickly like to add that I am not a specialist but if you are concerned that you are developing a mental disorder feel free to ask and I will give suggestions and possible conditions, although it’s always good to visit a doctor if you are able to.

I can’t wait to begin this journey and remember that you don’t need an illness to be here…perhaps your worried about yourself or a loved one or maybe you are simply curious.  Thank you for reading and I hope to have some new posts soon xx